IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Across the globe,
people
Use synonyms
 from rural areas are relocating to urban centres and cities, leading to a diminishing number of
people
Use synonyms
 living in the countryside. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a negative
development
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
scarcity
Correct article usage
the scarcity
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 of affordable living space and
immense
Correct article usage
the immense
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 difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advancements
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 areas.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
due to
Linking Words
 overcrowding, the pressure on the housing market keeps growing, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of affordable housing. Population growth straightforwardly affects the supply
which is
Verb problem
,
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resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
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 in rising house prices. To exemplify, Paris, where renting a small room with a toilet in the kitchen costs around 1000€, which is an extreme price.
In other words
Linking Words
, proposed amenities
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not justify the cost it has,
hence
Linking Words
, it is considered to be a negative
development
Use synonyms
. The arose gap between rural and urban
development
Use synonyms
 continues to deepen. It is caused because more
people
Use synonyms
 start living in cities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
consequently
Linking Words
, local authorities have to allocate more money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 city facilities. When the contribution of funds increases, the opportunities provided by cities
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as education and career attract
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 disproportion of
development
Use synonyms
 results in
rising
Replace the word
the rise
show examples
 of city population.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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number
Check wording
population
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 of
cities’ population
Check wording
cities
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 and the opposite
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rural areas is a negative advancement because of the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dwellings and the huge gap between them.

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task achievement
Your introduction gives a clear opinion, but try to provide a clearer outline of your points in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear idea and try to connect your points better with linking words.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points in each paragraph. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points more effectively.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion on the topic, which helps the reader understand your stance.
task achievement
Your examples bring a real-world context to your arguments, such as the housing issue in Paris.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Amenities
  • Economic prospects
  • Overcrowding
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Agricultural abandonment
  • Cultural diversity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Family ties
  • Infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Rural revitalization
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