IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between the poor people and the rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The impact of using
technology
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 is becoming a contentious issue in
todays's
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today's
 world. It is argued by some
people
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to
the
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a
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 variety of technological services and
equipments
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equipment
 is
excaberating
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exacerbating
 the gap between individuals belonging to
upper
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the upper
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 class and
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
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 class.
However
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, others believe that
this
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 is not the case, and
claims
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claim
show examples
 that
technology
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 is reducing the gap between the poor and rich
people
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. I strongly agree with the latter notion
supporting
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, supporting
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 the contribution of science in uplifting the standard of many families.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before providing a conclusion on my opinion.
Firstly
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, one of the factors that supports the former notion of negative implications of
technology
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 is the ability of
people
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 from different backgrounds to access gadgets,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and knowledge of
technology
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.
In other words
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, there are poor households residing in remote areas where there are no
internet
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 facilities
which
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, which
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 hinders their ability to use
technology
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 and engage in productive activities.
On the other hand
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, urban locations are well equipped with modern
technology
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 and other amenities
which
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, which
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provides
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provide
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advantage
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an advantage
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 to city dwellers to do optimum utilisation of
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internet
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the internet
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 to earn
money
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 by using social media platforms and by accessing online job opportunities.
Additionally
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, financial ability of a person to buy technological gadgets
such
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 as laptops and computers is
also
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 a major factor that contributes to the issue.
For instance
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, even if an individual might
posses
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possess
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 the knowledge to use
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internet
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the internet
show examples
 for earning
money
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, but
unavailablity
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unavailability
 of proper gadgets to do the work restricts them
to do
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from doing
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 better.
On the other hand
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, there
are
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is are
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 plethora of arguments that support the view of the benefits of
technology
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.
Technology
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 and platforms
such
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 as
Tik Tok
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TikTok
show examples
, Instagram,
Facebook
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and Facebook
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is
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are
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 one of the major
source
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sources
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 of income for many households. The social media influencer
earn
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earns
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 a huge amount of
money
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 by posting their videos on these platforms
which
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, which
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further
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 helps them in raising their financial status and livelihood.
For example
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, a survey conducted in India provided that the top ten rich
people
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 earned 60 per cent of their revenue from
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 by posting videos and advertising their business.
Moreover
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, five of the top ten rich
identities
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individuals
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 demonstrated that they belonged to very poor households.
Thus
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,
technology
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 provides a platform
to
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for
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people
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 to engage in activities to earn
money
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 and enhance the standard of their living.
To conclude
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, every coin
have
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has
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 two sides
,
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;
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similarly
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,
technology
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 makes well
settled
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well-settled
show examples
 person
more rich
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richer
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but
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, but
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 there are exceptions as well.
According to
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 me,
technology
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 has uplifted the lives of
people
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 drastically in terms of skills and finances by providing opportunities that
people
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 without
internet
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 cannot access.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make your main points clearer so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and show how technology helps the poor.
grammar and mechanics
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes, as they can affect the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good for engaging the reader.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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