IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is mandatory to impose restrictions or shut down those
factories
Use synonyms
 which produce poisonous
waste
Use synonyms
 materials. I agree with
notion
Correct article usage
the notion
show examples
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , on one side that some people suggest that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
put
Verb problem
impose
show examples
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
punishments or fines on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 which
pollutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollute
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 through
wastage
Check wording
waste
show examples
, but no need to close
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
factors
Check wording
facilities
show examples
. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons why they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not agree that
factories
Use synonyms
 will shut down by the authorities. Production is the key factor to run any economy and
market
Punctuation problem
market,
show examples
that's
Use the right word
that is
show examples
 why it is not possible
Change preposition
for that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
fully
Verb problem
to fully
show examples
 stop the
factories
Use synonyms
 that produce toxic
waste
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
, plastic bottle manufacturers day by day release so many harmful chemicals
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere and
also
Linking Words
non- biodegradable
Use the right word
non-biodegradable
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 materials
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 there is no affordable alternative
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 plastic bottles.
This
Linking Words
 is the main reason that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 cannot close the
factories
Use synonyms
 even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
 do not have
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 management system.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people believe that it is crucial to close
that
Correct word order
companies that
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
 doors who damage
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 with their large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
waste
Use synonyms
. In order to save our
surroundings
Punctuation problem
surroundings,
show examples
 it is demanding that these
companies
Use synonyms
 should
closed
Wrong verb form
close
show examples
. Toxic
waste
Use synonyms
 substances create different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of pollution
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 water, land and air
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 leads to big diseases
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
already
Verb problem
has already
show examples
 imposed restrictions and fines on these
companies
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they are
paying
Rephrase
still paying
show examples
fine
Replace the word
fines
show examples
 easily still continuing to
ignoring
Wrong verb form
ignore
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 management systems .
That is
Linking Words
 why it is alarming that these
companies
Use synonyms
 should shut down so that our environment
keep
Verb problem
remains
show examples
 clean and safe.
To conclude
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take
this
Linking Words
 case more seriously and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shut down one or two
companies
Use synonyms
 as an example for others
whose
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 a lot of toxic
wastage
Check wording
waste
show examples
 in the world .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to support your points. This will show your understanding better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler and clearer sentences for better communication of your ideas.
content
You have identified both sides of the argument, which shows critical thinking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • toxic waste materials
  • waste treatment facility
  • sustainable business practices
  • environmental protection
  • economic impact
  • stringent regulations
  • government intervention
  • environmental outcomes
  • ethical responsibility
  • enforcing responsibilities
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