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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say educational success is because of good teachers where as others say it depends on students. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is a debate over
,
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apply
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 whether the
success
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 in
the
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education is the result of good teaching or
it
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depends on the
students
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 themselves. Personally, I think that all the
success
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 that
students
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 achieve is the result of efforts of the
students
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 and good
teachers
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 do not play much role in the achievements of the
students
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. On the one hand, it is obvious that effective
teachers
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 play a crucial role in the outcomes of their
students
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, as they
do
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not only teach but
also
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 inspire, guide and try to adapt to their
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student's
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students'
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 requirements.
For instance
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, professional
teachers
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 can encourage their
students
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 to
awake
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awaken
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 a passion
in
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for
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 the subject that they might find difficult to study.
Furthermore
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,
teachers
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 with strong pedagogical skills can identify and support struggling learners, helping them overcome academic obstacles.
Therefore
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, it might be considered that
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
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 teacher is important to the
students
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 in terms of achieving goals and
academical
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academic
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success
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.
On the other hand
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, as some
argue
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argue,
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they
Use the right word
the
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students
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 themselves are responsible for their
success
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. No matter how dedicated
teacher
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a teacher
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 is,
success
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 can not be achieved if the
student
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do
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does
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 not try to study and learn.
In contrast
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, a successful
student
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 can be found in
the
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apply
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classes where
if
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apply
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the
teachers
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 have little experience or do not teach at all.
In addition
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, factors like being self-disciplined and motivated toward achieving goals
are
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depend
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 only
depends
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apply
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on
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student
Correct article usage
the student
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itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 and can not be influenced by someone
even
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, even
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 though it's a professional one.
Therefore
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, the effort of a
student
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 is
major
Correct article usage
a major
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 thing that leads to
success
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. In conclusion,
while
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 good
teachers
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 can enhance the
student
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's learning skills and can positively impact the outcome of a
student
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,
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however
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I believe that it is the
student
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 who actually can change and improve their performance in achieving
success
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by stating your thesis more directly. Try to summarize both views clearly before giving your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes your ideas are not easy to follow, so using clearer topic sentences would help.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points. This makes your essay more convincing and shows deeper understanding.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion in your introduction, which is good for showing your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You include relevant points about the roles of teachers and students, showing that you understand both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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