IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people belive that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today`s contemporary era, everyone
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
 that graduating from college or
university
Use synonyms
 can only give
Correct article usage
a sucessful
show examples
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
career
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 numerous people think that it is better to start a
job
Use synonyms
 after schooling. In my opinion,
Use synonyms
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 or college can provide more chances for
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 and bright
career
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, graduating from
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 or
reputed
Correct article usage
a reputed
show examples
 college can give higher chances of
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
career
Use synonyms
 growth.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 from
university
Use synonyms
 can give
assurence
Correct your spelling
assurance
 for
qulification
Correct your spelling
qualification
 and it can be accepted worldwide,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 gain some skills in a
person
Use synonyms
, which can put a
person
Use synonyms
 ahead
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reputed
Correct word choice
reputable
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 can
give
Verb problem
provide
show examples
exellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
 knowledge of the field,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
provide important information prior to
praticle
Correct your spelling
practical
 experience
,
Punctuation problem
. Also
show examples
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
person
Use synonyms
 can get
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
show examples
 paid
job
Use synonyms
 and shape their future in
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 way.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an article in the Times of India which says
with
Correct word choice
that with
show examples
qualification
Correct article usage
a qualification
show examples
 or
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
, an individual can
grow
Verb problem
have
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future and
high
Correct word choice
a higher
show examples
salery
Correct your spelling
salary
 than their counterparts. On the other side, if after
school
Use synonyms
 study a
person
Use synonyms
 can start a
job
Use synonyms
 or
earning
Replace the word
earn
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 a human can start income
stright
Correct your spelling
straight
 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
study
Check wording
apply
show examples
and they can start a
career
Use synonyms
 before
who
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
furter
Correct your spelling
further
.
As a result
Linking Words
, those people
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
basic knowledge, and they
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 as
a labour
Use the right word
labourers
show examples
 in any firm,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can give them less amount of money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, without higher education
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technical
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can affect their pay
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they spend their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 working hard
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
show examples
 to
university
Use synonyms
 students who
can
Verb problem
are
show examples
 able to work in more
skill
Replace the word
skilled
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Western Sydney
University
Use synonyms
 which mentioned
only
Correct word choice
that only
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 education can give jobs without
skilsets
Correct your spelling
skills
 with less amount of pay. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 qualification can give more
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and higher chances of great jobs,
while
Linking Words
 only
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
 education can give
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 but cannot give
Correct article usage
a sucessful
show examples
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
career
Use synonyms
. In my view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 study is important for
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future.

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Grammar
Try to improve your grammar, particularly with subject-verb agreement and spelling. For example, 'everyone believe' should be 'everyone believes'.
Content
Make sure to clearly explain your ideas and provide more specific examples to support them. This will help improve clarity.
Cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by using linking words like 'however', 'moreover', and 'in addition' to connect your ideas better.
Content
You have expressed your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
Structure
Your essay covers both views which is important for the discussion topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • networking opportunities
  • internships
  • earning potential
  • practical experience
  • academic qualifications
  • skills and experience
  • work ethic
  • vocational training
  • successful careers
  • traditional academic environments
  • entrepreneurship
  • real-world work settings
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