IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates four different types of
transportation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 -
namley
Correct your spelling
namely
, air, coach,car, and
ferry
Use synonyms
 - that tourists from five various countries used within New Zealand in 2004. As a general trend, it can clearly be seen that cars were the most popular
transportation
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 among British, Australian, and
german
Fix capitalization
German
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 tourists. Most of the British (60%), German (just over 50%), and
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 (just under 50%) used cars as their main
transportation
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system
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Japanese
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Japan
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 used air with just under 50%, and
Korean
Use the right word
Korea
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 used coal with 40% as their main
system
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.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, a few Korean, Japanese, and Australian
tourist
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tourists
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 used
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ferry
Correct article usage
the ferry
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 with
approximatle
Correct your spelling
approximately
 5 %, well over 10% and just over 10%, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
ferry
Correct article usage
the ferry
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 was the second popular
transportation
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system
Use synonyms
 among
German
Fix the agreement mistake
Germans
show examples
 and
British
Use the right word
Britons
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just under 50% and just under 40%, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main
transportation
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 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 was cars,
while
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the two
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two other
Correct word order
other two
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 chose
ferry
Use synonyms
 as their main
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
system
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words transportation, system, ferry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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