The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. ( cam 13 test 1)

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. ( cam 13 test 1)
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. ( cam 13 test 1)
The given plan depicts the renovation of
road
Use synonyms
reaches to a
city
Use synonyms
hospital during 2007 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, beside
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
Use synonyms
drastic change was seen in 2010,a
bus
Use synonyms
station was built in
southwest
Correct article usage
the southwest
show examples
direction.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
hospital
remianed
Correct your spelling
remained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
place. Looking deeply
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
figure,
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
stand was
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
of
building
Check wording
apply
show examples
of hospital and car parking for staff
as well as
Linking Words
for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
was inside the medical campus.
Whereas
Linking Words
, on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side
6
Punctuation problem
, 6
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
stop
Fix the agreement mistake
stops
show examples
were present in 2007.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
no
such
Linking Words
changes in
ring
Correct article usage
the ring
show examples
road
Use synonyms
and
city
Use synonyms
way.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, symmetric designs were made for
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
station in 2010 in
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
direction to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
road
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
parking area for staff
faculty
Correct word choice
and faculty
show examples
was separated from
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, a roundabout was installed along
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
road
Use synonyms
connecting to
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
campus and
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
pathway.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in 2007 there were various
bus
Use synonyms
stop
Fix the agreement mistake
stops
show examples
but in 2010 only one connected with two roundabout pathways.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, bus with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • located
  • situated
  • layout
  • infrastructure
  • facility
  • public transport
  • bus route
  • roundabout
  • intersection
  • development
  • modification
  • enhancement
  • access
  • comparison
  • previously
  • subsequently
  • provide access to
  • implement
  • upgrade
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