IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In today's innovative and occupied world, individuals are becoming
self isolated
Use the right word
self-isolated
show examples
 from their society. In
mega cities
Use the right word
megacities
show examples
, citizens
even
Verb problem
are even
show examples
 distancing themselves from their neighbours because of
terrible
Correct article usage
the terrible
show examples
 cases ongoing in
outer
Correct article usage
the outer
show examples
 world and
engaged
Verb problem
are engaged
show examples
 in their own
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. There are
obvious some
Correct word order
some obvious
show examples
 drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of support during
miserable
Correct article usage
a miserable
show examples
 time. I will outline the perceived solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and their causes in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 essay. The downside of being swapped in office and household work and no link with
nearby
Correct article usage
the nearby
show examples
multitudes
Check wording
masses
show examples
 is very dreadful because masses do not know about their society's
people
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they are always insecure
from
Change preposition
around
show examples
 them.
Also
Linking Words
, in case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
health
Correct article usage
a health
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 issue or any other help, there is no one to reach out
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person is not encouraging socially
everyone
Punctuation problem
, everyone
show examples
 verdict to ignore him and if he
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
trap
Wrong verb form
trapped
show examples
 by any
heartbroke
Correct your spelling
heartbreaking
 moment or complicated
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
show examples
 no one will support them.
Additionally
Linking Words
, offence cases are
inclining
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
 day by day and the only
who
Correct pronoun usage
ones who
show examples
 can help
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
neighbourhood
Correct article usage
the neighbourhood
show examples
 at that time as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evidence in case of murder or robbery
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in big
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not
take
Verb problem
seek
show examples
 help from them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is erroneous.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,there are possible resolutions to overcome
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 issues
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 there should be
reunion
Correct article usage
a reunion
show examples
 of
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society every
month
Punctuation problem
month,
show examples
 because it helps in maintaining peaceful and glorious relations with each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
,there are
people
Use synonyms
 from various communities
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 celebrate their festivals with each other as it is prosperous and individuals connect with various
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should share their
samll
Correct your spelling
small
 happiness with each other as it results in
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
 of gratitude. In conclusion,it depends on citizens either to
alienation
Replace the word
alienate
show examples
 from neighbours or to maintain wealthy relations with them. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, they should not
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 very much and
also
Linking Words
 not
isolate
Wrong verb form
isolated
show examples
 completely.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your arguments by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are fully developed with specific examples and details to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve the readability of your essay.
idea development
You have identified important problems that come from not knowing your neighbors.
idea development
You suggested practical solutions for bringing communities together, which is a positive approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
What to do next:
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