IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts below show how adults in a certain country spend their leisure time in 2010 and 2020.

The two pie charts below show how adults in a certain country spend their leisure time in 2010 and 2020.
The pair of pie charts
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
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 the way young people in a practical nation
chosed
Correct your spelling
chose
 to
do during
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their free time in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2010 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, watching TV and social media are the most
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 options of all time;
however
Linking Words
;
Punctuation problem
,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 was a slight change, around 5-10%, in the proportion of most kinds of activities, except
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise. In 2010, the majority had enjoyed watching TV, at 35
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
, the biggest figure at the moment before witnessing a decline, from 35 to 25
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, social media, the second-largest percentage in 2010, had come to the top of the list after a decade
due to
Linking Words
 a significant increase, at 20
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, people were more likely to read in 2020 than they
did
Verb problem
were
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 in
ten
Correct article usage
the ten
show examples
 years before.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the percentage of others
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 double
while
Linking Words
 the figure for outdoor hobbies dropped by half during ten years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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