Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some
people
argue that unpaid community
activity
must be a compulsory part of high school programs.
For instance
,
such
activities include working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children.
This
essay will discuss why I agree with
this
statement and give my opinions. It is widely known that humans are social entities, which relates to how they connect with others in
society
. One of the important things is that each person should
also
give their attention to others, especially
people
who do not have good economic conditions. For
this
issue,
students
can join the action by working for a charity program. In many cities, our
society
consists of different economic situations,
such
as rich, lower-income, or poor.
People
in poor conditions need help to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their daily needs and overcome their pain. Working for charity will provide some real action to help
people
who need it and give
students
new experiences, even though they are not paid for the action.
Besides
that,
this
activity
will
also
grow their attention and help them feel a responsibility to help other
people
.
Moreover
, another
activity
that
students
can do is improve the neighbourhood with some actions and agendas to strengthen
people
relations in
society
.
For instance
,
students
can take actions like working together for the environment near their community, or they can teach sports to younger
people
.
This
activity
will not only create a clean environment and a healthy
society
, but
also
it will be a place for
people
to interact and strengthen their relationships to improve the neighbourhood.
Additionally
,
this
experience will give
students
an understanding of how
people
interact and get to know each other. In the long term, it will give them a bright view and knowledge about how good interaction between
people
benefits
society
. In conclusion, unpaid community service has many benefits, not only for the student but
also
for
society
. It will have a great impact on the student to build their personality in a good way for their future.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your essay with more specific examples and real-life scenarios to strengthen your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. While your essay is generally well-organized, adding topic sentences to each paragraph could improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, providing a clear standpoint on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay offers a thoughtful discussion on the importance of community service and its benefits for students, showing a strong understanding of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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