Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, some
people
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argue that unpaid community
activity
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must be a compulsory part of high school programs.
For instance
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,
such
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activities include working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children.
This
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essay will discuss why I agree with
this
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statement and give my opinions. It is widely known that humans are social entities, which relates to how they connect with others in
society
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. One of the important things is that each person should
also
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give their attention to others, especially
people
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who do not have good economic conditions. For
this
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issue,
students
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can join the action by working for a charity program. In many cities, our
society
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consists of different economic situations,
such
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as rich, lower-income, or poor.
People
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in poor conditions need help to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their daily needs and overcome their pain. Working for charity will provide some real action to help
people
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who need it and give
students
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new experiences, even though they are not paid for the action.
Besides
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that,
this
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activity
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will
also
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grow their attention and help them feel a responsibility to help other
people
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.
Moreover
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, another
activity
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that
students
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can do is improve the neighbourhood with some actions and agendas to strengthen
people
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relations in
society
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.
For instance
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,
students
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can take actions like working together for the environment near their community, or they can teach sports to younger
people
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.
This
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activity
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will not only create a clean environment and a healthy
society
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, but
also
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it will be a place for
people
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to interact and strengthen their relationships to improve the neighbourhood.
Additionally
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,
this
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experience will give
students
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an understanding of how
people
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interact and get to know each other. In the long term, it will give them a bright view and knowledge about how good interaction between
people
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benefits
society
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. In conclusion, unpaid community service has many benefits, not only for the student but
also
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for
society
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. It will have a great impact on the student to build their personality in a good way for their future.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider enhancing your essay with more specific examples and real-life scenarios to strengthen your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. While your essay is generally well-organized, adding topic sentences to each paragraph could improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, providing a clear standpoint on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed, reinforcing the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay offers a thoughtful discussion on the importance of community service and its benefits for students, showing a strong understanding of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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