IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today, crime novels and tv crimes dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and tv shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction tv crime dramas.

It is beyond question that the
crime
Use synonyms
 shows and novels are famous these days , and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become a widely discussed issue.
Although
Linking Words
 many people believe that
this
Linking Words
 kind of
shows
Fix the agreement mistake
show
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 bad , a proportion of people hold the opposite stance. I assume that
content
Use synonyms
 including
Use synonyms
crimes story
Fix the agreement mistake
crime stories
show examples
 or background is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 thing
the
Correct pronoun usage
that the
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 TV and the
cinma
Correct your spelling
cinema
 do. The
follwing
Correct your spelling
following
 paragraph will explain my
percpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
. The disadvantages of the
crime
Use synonyms
content
Use synonyms
 are
nemerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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Correct article usage
a neagitve
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neagitve
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact on the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
,
such
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 as the kids watching
crimes
Use synonyms
 to have fun
, on
Punctuation problem
. On
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 the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
 may not be in a good mood
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 there are so many
killing
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killings
show examples
and
stealing
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thefts
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. Another point to consider is the
crimes
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 have been increasd since these kind of shows have arrived , in a study on the year 2015 the scientists from oxford university says that the
crimes
Use synonyms
content
Use synonyms
 have helped the percent to rose , it is reached almost 18% comparing the year 1998 the per cent was 5% , the reason behind
that is
Linking Words
crime
Use synonyms
 shows have been increasing after the year 1998.
furthermoer
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
these
Punctuation problem
, these
show examples
 shows are
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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time
Change preposition
of time
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 and money.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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conclued
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Check wording
people's
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opinons
Correct your spelling
opinions
 may vary
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
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 , I personally tend to
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that the
crime
Use synonyms
content
Use synonyms
 must not be
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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TV or the
moives
Correct your spelling
movies
, even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books ,
becuse
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because
 it has a negative effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society , and the idea
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 a criminal person.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 if you
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 away from the
crime
Use synonyms
 shows you are gonna be keeping your
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 and time.
Therefor
Use the right word
Therefore
show examples
, it is reasonable to support
this
Linking Words
 point of view.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with clear paragraphs for each point you make.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentences and check for spelling mistakes to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your opinions.
task achievement
Your introduction shows your opinion on the topic clearly.
task achievement
You made some good points about the negative effects of crime shows.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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