With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that the accelerated evolution of contemporary
communication
Use synonyms
technology,
such
Linking Words
as mobile phones, tablets, and various other digital apparatuses, presents more drawbacks than benefits. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
perspective for a variety of reasons. The first reason is that the swift advancements in
communication
Use synonyms
technology have profoundly enhanced the fidelity of virtual interactions. In fact, breakthroughs
such
Linking Words
as 5G networks, fibre-optic internet infrastructure, and artificial intelligence-powered noise cancellation have already begun to
revolutionize
Use the right word
revolutionise
show examples
the modalities through which we connect.
For instance
Linking Words
, researchers and innovators have achieved remarkable strides in elevating both audio and visual clarity, thereby fostering an immersive experience that mimics in-person
communication
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
technological progress allows users to feel as though they are conversing face-to-face, regardless of geographical distances or time zones. Another significant factor contributing to
this
Linking Words
phenomenon is that these technological devices have integrated themselves as indispensable components of modern existence. It is because
this
Linking Words
is attributable to the unparalleled convenience that smartphones,
in particular
Linking Words
, afford, assisting individuals with even the most trivial of daily tasks. Indeed, the necessity for individuals to manually recall telephone numbers or even significant dates
such
Linking Words
as birthdays has been addressed, as contemporary smartphones are equipped with integrated reminder and notification functionalities that operate autonomously. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
the notable improvements in
communication
Use synonyms
and the positive impacts that phones and other devices have had on our lives, I firmly believe that the swift progression of
communication
Use synonyms
technology brings more advantages than drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You provided a good introduction and conclusion. Make sure your main points are backed with examples to make them stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay was well-organized. Try to use clearer links between your paragraphs for smoother flow.
Positive Highlight
Your essay has clear main ideas and strong vocabulary, making your argument well-presented.
Positive Highlight
The way you explained the advantages of technology shows thoughtful insight.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
What to do next:
Look at other essays: