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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

: With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that today’s fast pace of
communication
Use synonyms
 technology—
such
Linking Words
 as phones, tablets, and other digital devices—has more disadvantages than advantages. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the rapid development in
communication
Use synonyms
 technology means that the quality of calls has been significantly improved. Advances
such
Linking Words
 as 5G networks,
fiber-optic
Use the right word
fibre-optic
show examples
 internet, and AI-enhanced noise cancellation have already started to transform how we communicate.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists and designers have made significant progress in enhancing both sound and graphic quality, making users feel like they are talking face-to-face with the other person.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these technological devices have become an essential part of modern life.
This
Linking Words
 is because convenient smartphones can assist people with even the smallest tasks. In fact, people no longer need to remember phone numbers or even birthdays, as smartphones now offer built-in reminders and notifications without the need to ask. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the notable improvements in
communication
Use synonyms
 and the positive impacts that phones and other devices have
made
Verb problem
had
show examples
 on our lives, I firmly believe that the swift progression of
communication
Use synonyms
 technology brings more advantages than drawbacks.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. You can use linking words to improve this.
task achievement
Consider addressing a counterargument to show that you understand the other side of the issue.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which is a strong start.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your thoughts, which nicely wraps up your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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