IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that many governments are
impose
Wrong verb form
imposing
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 some social responsibilities on companies.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that it is unfair to make
businesses
Use the right word
businesspeople
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people
Use synonyms
 take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the traders should have responsibility towards the nation.
To begin
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 with, many commerce and businesses have a negative impact that might
reflected
Verb problem
be reflected
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 on society.
In other words
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, if they do not care
of
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about
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people
Use synonyms
, it may
makes
Wrong verb form
make
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 our planet more difficult to live in by contributing to the generation
gases
Check wording
of greenhouse gas
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 emissions.
In addition
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, they have the upper hand in controlling the prices.
For example
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, they can cause
to
Verb problem
apply
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price inflation by changing their prices easily, especially if they are a monopoly
establishments
Fix the agreement mistake
establishment
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. Another point to consider, they are part of society, and every
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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on
Change preposition
in
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 society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 their responsibilities toward each other, that measured based on their abilities. It is
also
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 possible to say that a
lof
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lot
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 ot
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 profits come from the
people
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, so they have to feel grateful and help.
In addition
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, even if they do not care about the bad
affect
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effect
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 which they make
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, in future they will see it affect
in
Change preposition
apply
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their family life.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming and climate change will not
except
Replace the word
affect only
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 rich
people
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
; it
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 will affect all
people
Use synonyms
 badly In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that to have a good quality of
life
Punctuation problem
life,
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 every
citizens
Fix the agreement mistake
citizen
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 should do their
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, there is no exception
in
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 rule. And governments should impose
a
Correct article usage
apply
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taxes
for
Change preposition
on
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 factories and businesses.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to answer the question clearly. You have some good points, but try to say more about each one.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer links between your ideas. Use words like 'first', 'next', and 'finally' to help the reader follow your thoughts.
Language
Check your grammar and spelling. For example, 'problems' instead of 'problem', and 'a lot of' instead of 'a lof ot'.
Content
You raise important points about the responsibilities of businesses, especially concerning society and the environment.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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