IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is an irrefutable fact that having a
university
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degree
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 is important
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and plays a key role in the future of individuals.
While
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 some people opine that
,
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apply
show examples
 it is essential, others believe that it is not practical anymore. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and express my opinion.
To begin
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 with, a
university
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degree
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 is a determining factor in employing and assessing people.
In other words
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, it is indispensable and a prerequisite during employment, and convincing for employees.
For example
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, in Iran, many manufacturing companies and firms recruit experts with higher degrees as managers and seniors; plus, there is
a
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apply
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stiff competition among youngsters to gain the best roles.
Similarly
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, having a
degree
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 from a prosperous
university
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 is a
game changer
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game-changer
show examples
 for immigrating to other countries and fulfilling a dream job as well.
Hence
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, a
university
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degree
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 can be very useful for the future of youngsters.
On the other hand
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, in today's world, there are multiple factors appearing
due to
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 technological changes. To clarify,
due to
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 unprecedented developments in technology, obtaining a
university
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degree
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 alone is not adequate for the youth. Job seekers have to gain many abilities and participate in vocational training classes to excel in every field.
In addition
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, being well-rounded is vital in many companies these days;
for instance
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, it is apparent that some companies rely on skills
such
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 as agriculture and gardening.
To conclude
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, having a high
degree
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 plays a key role in employment , and I believe that it is not enough these days, so I side with the latter view and believe that owning a certificate solely does not lead to a dream and
decent
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a decent
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 job.

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task achievement
Make sure all your main points are well supported with clear examples. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clearer paragraphs and topic sentences to guide readers through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more effectively to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Good introduction that sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
You present both views clearly, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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