IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

An increasing number of school provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What is the advantages and disadvantages?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years,there
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 an
increasing
Check wording
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 development in many
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of life. In educational institutions, there are using of technical devices
such
Linking Words
 as tablets and laptops for students.In my opinion, it is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 point for knowledge state.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 are special
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 to the students
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
who use tablets
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of books. The heavy schoolbag that
full
Verb problem
is full
show examples
 of notebooks
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 pupils tired ,so they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
have
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 good attention to the lessons.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is easy to
reach to
Verb problem
access
show examples
 the essay and homework. Many studies in US
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 between 2019 and 2022 have shown that there is a
raise
Use the right word
rise
show examples
 in the marks that learners
took it
Verb problem
achieved
show examples
 in the exams. In spite of
Correct article usage
the benefit
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
the technological
Replace the word
technology
show examples
, there are disadvantages
incloded
Correct your spelling
included
 the wrong usage of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laptops and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers. Many of the
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 that users suffer from it like weakness in seeing and
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 related to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
skins
Fix the agreement mistake
skin
show examples
. Studies in Cambridge College found
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
peoplie
Correct your spelling
people
 who visit
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
. In conclusion, we find that we must have good use to
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 devices. The development of life
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 from us
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
 in
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on clearly stating your main ideas and supporting them with examples. Ensure that every point you make is fully developed and explained.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your writing. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas better.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.
content
You have included both advantages and disadvantages, which is good for task achievement.
content
The idea of heavy schoolbags affecting students' attention is relevant and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: