1.Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sport, while others think it is negative. discus both views and give your opinion

These days, brands are using
athletes
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to promote their products and services.
While
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some people view
this
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as beneficial for
sports
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in general, others believe it has negative consequences. In my opinion,
sponsorship
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deals are essential for sportspeople, as they provide financial
support
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to continue their careers and enable
clubs
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to develop young talents, which would
otherwise
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be impossible without advertising revenue.
To begin
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with, as with any other profession, professional
athletes
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require a sustainable income, and
sports
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clubs
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would not be able to provide adequate salaries without
sponsorship
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agreements.
In other words
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,
clubs
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must cover a wide range of expenses, including players’ wages, staff salaries, and stadium maintenance costs.
Moreover
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, they have only a few significant revenue streams, and
sponsorship
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is often the most crucial.
For example
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, Turkey’s women’s volleyball team receives substantial
support
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from its main sponsor, Orkid, which covers
one third
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one-third
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of the team’s expenses—more than the government itself contributes.
Moreover
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,
sports
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clubs
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rely on
sponsorship
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money to nurture and
support
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young
talents
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talent
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. Without advertising agreements, they would lose much of their capacity to develop future
athletes
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.
In other words
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, every club must invest in the growth of young players in order to secure long-term success.
Otherwise
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, they might be forced to recruit costly talent from abroad, which would place a heavy burden on their budgets.
For instance
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, after Fenerbahçe closed its youth academies for football, the club began to incur significant financial losses
due to
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the high cost of recruiting external players. In conclusion,
although
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some people argue that
sponsorship
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deals lead to excessive commercialisation and unfair advantages, I believe they are crucial for the sustainability of
sports
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. Without these financial partnerships, many
clubs
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would struggle to
support
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athletes
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and invest in young talent, which would ultimately harm the future of professional
sports
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.

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task response
Your introduction is clear, and you state your opinion well. However, consider rephrasing 'the world of sport' for more clarity. For example, you could say 'the sports industry'.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs are well-structured, but try adding more linking words, like 'firstly,' 'for example,' or 'in addition,' to improve the flow between ideas.
task response
Your conclusion summarizes your points nicely. To strengthen it further, you might briefly mention the counter-argument again for balance, then reinforce your stance on sponsorships.
relevant specific examples
You provide strong examples, like the case of Turkey’s women’s volleyball team and Fenerbahçe, which support your main arguments well.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your opinion is clear throughout the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand your position on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate sponsorships
  • vital funds
  • growth and development
  • over-commercialization
  • corporate interests
  • unequal opportunities
  • expertise in marketing
  • widely broadcasted
  • integrity of the sport
  • commercial considerations
  • visibility and engagement
  • physical fitness
  • community spirit
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