In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegatables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There are some cities changing the open parks to
gardens
Use synonyms
where open for the idea of the local citizens
Verb problem
can contribution
show examples
contribution
Replace the word
contribute
show examples
to
plant
Wrong verb form
planting
show examples
their fruits and vegetables. I do agree with
this
Linking Words
statement , the benefit over the downside,
due to
Linking Words
the significant advantages on the human and community. The humans can eat delightful organic meals by using their
gardens
Use synonyms
to plant tomatoes
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
or mints. Even people can contribute to reducing pollution by
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
show examples
the house waste like old bananas, or expired milk , for the flowers and citrus fruits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it
surge
Verb problem
improves
show examples
their health by following a healthy lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent research has proven that people who eat from their
gardens
Use synonyms
are healthier than those who eat junk food. The communities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can
also
Linking Words
benefit from the help of citizens to make their nations more beautiful and by letting the parks be much better, because not only do the states well take good care of the area and provide essential goods for the open places, so by the contribution of humans , well decrease the expenses.
However
Linking Words
, a recent survey shows that 85% of the USA and 56% KSA
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
population
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to plant their fruits in the neighbourhood
gardens
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
percentage choose to eat from restaurants.
Overall
Linking Words
, transferring public areas and open lands to
gardens
Use synonyms
would
let
Verb problem
allow
show examples
a proportion of people to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for gardening,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
significant advantages over the disadvantages for the nations and human health.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
agree totally with
this
Linking Words
statement. For
recommodation
Correct your spelling
recreation
, states should raise the number of parks and the area.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly express your position in the introduction. This will help the reader understand your viewpoint better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow better and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Write a clearer conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your opinion. This will help reinforce your argument.
Task Achievement
You included relevant examples, such as research about eating from gardens, which supports your argument well.
Task Achievement
You presented a good point about reducing pollution and promoting a healthy lifestyle, which shows your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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