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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2018 and 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in 2018 and 2021. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph above illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
followers
Use synonyms
 on the
femous
Correct your spelling
famous
 celebrities
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Instagram app, during the
phase
Check wording
period from
show examples
 2018 and 2021. Of Ronaldo, The Rock, Grande and Gomez.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the
well known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
 popularity on the chart shows a gradual surge. Cristiano Ronaldo has increased dramatically from 2018 to 2021. In
2021
Punctuation problem
2021,
show examples
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 Cris, the rest of the names
experence
Correct your spelling
experienced
 nearly the same amount of
followers
Use synonyms
. In 2018, the highest
followers
Use synonyms
 was
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Selena
Check wording
Selena's
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 account
mostly
Punctuation problem
, mostly
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bettween
Correct your spelling
between
 100 to 150
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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.
While
Linking Words
 Cristiano and
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Ariana nearly had the same number over 100 million.
while
Linking Words
 the least number at
this
Linking Words
 time was Kylie and The Rock, with below 100m, and less than that
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. Ronaldo by 2021 has
significant
Replace the word
significantly
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 increased
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
tripled
Wrong verb form
tripling
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 almost 100 to above than 300
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rest of well
known
Use the right word
well-known
show examples
 shows dramatic upward
in
Check wording
trend in
show examples
 same number of
followers
Use synonyms
, almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
250
milion
Correct your spelling
million
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words followers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • popularity
  • Instagram accounts
  • growth
  • decline
  • comparison
  • remained stable
  • significant change
  • new entries
  • exits
  • patterns
  • trends
  • noteworthy
  • notable
  • fluctuation
  • predominant
  • dominant
  • proliferation
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