IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education in adult populations who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that government budgets should be for young people’s
education
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others believe that investing in illiterate
adults
Use synonyms
 has a greater impact on the economy and long-term benefits. One of the main reasons to invest in
adult
Use synonyms
education
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 is to help reduce the rate of illiteracy
adult
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 population , which can have economic impacts because educated
adults
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 can contribute more effectively to the workforce.
Therefore
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, if more funding is spent on improving
adult
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 literacy rates may suffer
as a consequence
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 of less funding.
For example
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, both children and illiterate
adults
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 may become an impossible task with limited funding, with government support can help those families to have a suitable level of economic well-being.
Moreover
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, improving
adult
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 literacy can have a generational impact. Literate parents are more likely to engage in their children’s
education
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 ,
such
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 as helping their children with homework, fostering a reading culture, and valuing children's achievement. These benefits mean that it can lead to the rates of educated young people, which reinforces the success of younger learners as well. In
this
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 way, funding
adult
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 literacy becomes a strategic, long-term investment rather than a competing priority. In conclusion,
while
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 the
education
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 for young people remains a priority, I firmly believe that if the government increases financial support for educating illiterate
adults
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, it will benefit tremendously, not only by promoting equity and social inclusion but
also
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 by strengthening the nation as a whole.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas link logically.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler sentences to make your message clearer and easier to follow.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion in your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • important
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • adults
  • read
  • write
  • young
  • people
  • skills
  • jobs
  • thinking
  • world
  • investing
  • base
  • society
  • challenges
  • good
  • families
  • poverty
  • community
  • benefit
  • participate
  • fully
  • contribute
  • economy
  • argue
  • future
  • opportunities
  • younger
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