IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

There are many ways of preventing crimes that are much better than prison. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is often argued that there are far more effective methods of reducing illegal
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 than merely relying on imprisonment. I completely agree with
this
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 point of view, since rehabilitating offenders and ensuring a well-functioning legal system provide far more sustainable solutions. First of all, rehabilitating offenders is crucial because they need to be successfully reintegrated into society rather than permanently isolated. When former inmates acquire useful skills and receive emotional support, they are far less likely to resort to atrocity again, which ultimately benefits both the individual and the wider community.
This
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 objective can be achieved through education, vocational training, psychological counselling, and even art-related programs that encourage self-expression and personal growth.
Such
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 initiatives not only equip prisoners with practical abilities for future employment but
also
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 reshape their mindset, giving them a sense of purpose and responsibility.
For example
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, prisons in Finland, which have adopted comprehensive rehabilitation measures,
consequently
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 report one of the lowest recidivism rates in the world.
Secondly
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, establishing an efficient justice system is essential for reducing criminal cases on a large scale.
In other words
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, when laws are clear and fairly enforced, citizens are less likely to commit offences because they know justice will be applied swiftly and consistently.
Moreover
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, reducing corruption within law enforcement and ensuring that courts operate efficiently builds public trust and strengthens social order.
For example
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, in many Scandinavian countries, transparent legal procedures and reliable enforcement contribute significantly to their low crime rates. In conclusion, there are indeed more effective ways to reduce crime than relying solely on imprisonment. By focusing on the rehabilitation process of criminals and ensuring an efficient justice system, societies can achieve long-term reductions in crime and foster safer communities.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument supporting alternative crime prevention methods, which is good. Make sure to explain more in-depth why these methods are superior to prison, as this will strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of your essay is strong, with logical connections between paragraphs and ideas. To improve, use more linking words to show relationships between ideas, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition.'
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position and summarize your points. Consider including a brief statement in the introduction about why this topic is important to engage the reader more effectively.
task achievement
You provided strong examples, such as Finland and Scandinavian countries, which enhance your argument. This shows your ability to support ideas with evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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