It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Taking
risks
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in either
working
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work
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or
individual
Correct word choice
personal
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life is vital for
humans
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.
This
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essay will examine the merits and demerits of
this
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statement, and I
am of
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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belief
Replace the word
believe
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that the disadvantages of taking
risks
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outweigh
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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advantages. On the one hand, achieving big goals
as well as
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following ambitions
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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only possible by taking
risks
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on some occasions.
Firstly
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, as the modern world is so competitive,
humans
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should take
risks
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to attain some goals, which can result in growth in both
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
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and personal life.
In other words
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, by doing usual tasks or being cautious,
humans
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are not able to achieve outstanding success.
Additionally
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, if one wants to follow their ambitions, it is essential to take calculated or uncalculated
risks
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.
For example
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, the chance of becoming rich for a risk-taker is more than one with a conservative character in the worldwide market.
Thus
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, in some cases, both career and individual growth depend on taking
risks
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.
On the other hand
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, facing huge failures and suffering from mental
issues
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can be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drawbacks of
this
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statement.
Initially
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, taking
risks
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, especially uncalculated
ones
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ones,
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can result in irrecoverable consequences,
such
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as bankruptcy.
In addition
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, struggling with the stress and tension resulting from taking
risks
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can lead to several health problems.
For example
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, a risk-taker merchant is more likely to have stress about the market, which can cause serious health
issues
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for them. Having heart attacks and being anxious are some examples of
such
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issues
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.
Therefore
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,
as
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apply
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taking
risks
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does not always result in success
,
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;
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it can cause health
issues
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or even death. In conclusion, in my opinion, the disadvantages of taking
risks
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due to
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the high possibility of failing outweigh
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
advantages. I believe that
humans
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should consider all aspects of a thing and
then
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take
risks
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.

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. You mentioned a belief, but it could be stronger by directly stating, 'I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear, but try to connect the ideas better with linking words like 'however' or 'on the other hand.' This will help flow.
Task Response
Include more specific examples in your essays to support your points. General examples may not convince the reader as well. For instance, you can give a concrete example of a successful risk-taker.
Task Response
You successfully identify both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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