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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others that argue it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Using
computers
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 has been massive in educational institutions,
such
Linking Words
 as teaching staff presenting lessons as presentations , which is beneficial for delivering the information. Some argue that
computers
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 are a valuable tool because they help both educators and
students
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 to present and learn easily.
On the other hand
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, some people think that it is leading to side effects. In my opinion, bringing
computers
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 to the
education
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 system is beneficial but
also
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 has minor drawbacks. Nowadays,
computers
Use synonyms
 play an important role in
education
Use synonyms
 because people depend all their work on
computers
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.
For example
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, instructors are using
computers
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 to present lessons as presentations , which helps
students
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 pay more attention to the classes, and
also
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 helps them receive the information easily.
In addition
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,
computers
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 help
students
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 to do their homework, assignments and projects. By writing their coursework in doc applications and sites, they can
also
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 use
computers
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 to gain more information in all subjects their studying,
such
Linking Words
 as watching online lessons. Another point to consider is that making use of
computers
Use synonyms
 in
education
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 has a downside. Staring at a computer for a long time may affect your eyes because of the light and electricity emitted by it, which can cause serious vision problems and reduced concentration.
Moreover
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, bringing
computers
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 to the
education
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 field involves a high cost. Many institutions can not afford too many devices for their staff and
students
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 , and maintain them every year.
Also
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, a lot of
students
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 do not have the opportunity to purchase
computers
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 on their own because they are expensive . In conclusion, I believe that the use of
computers
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for teaching staff and
students
Use synonyms
 ,
it
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
 helps them both to present and write their coursework in a simple manner. But we should consider that there are minimal drawbacks ,
such
Linking Words
 as eye effects, losing concentration and the high costs.

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Task Achievement
Strengthen your introduction with a clearer outline of the main points. This will help guide the reader better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words would help to improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Add more examples to support your points, especially regarding the negative aspects of computers in education.
Task Achievement
Good awareness of both positive and negative views about computers in education.
Coherence and Cohesion
You expressed your opinion clearly in the conclusion. It summarizes your views well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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