IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliences and amount of time spwnt doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The chart below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliences and amount of time spwnt doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the consumption of washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
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refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 in a country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of all spreads
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 significantly over the period
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 the exception of
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
machine
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 all increase in the first year
Punctuation problem
, exception
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exception
Replace the word
except
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 the washing
machine
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was between 70
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60 in
persentage
Use synonyms
 and
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 highest
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
was 100 by
refrigerator
Use synonyms
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 three all increase and finish in 2019
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the washing
machine
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
but
Punctuation problem
. but
show examples
wecan
Correct your spelling
can
 see here in
figure
Fix capitalization
Figure
show examples
 1960
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner and washing
machine
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the same
peresntage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 was
gratest
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the them
Punctuation problem
,
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it was 90
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
per cent,
 and they
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 70
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
per cent
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that the
refrigerator
Use synonyms
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
machine
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the same
and
Fix capitalization
And
show examples
 the washing
machine
Use synonyms
 was
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 from them.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, refrigerator, vacuum, persentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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