Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
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believe that a
university
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degree
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is a must to be successful,
while
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other
people
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believe that it is not true for someone to lead a
pleasenut
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pleasant
life,
then
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they must obtain a
degree
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in higher studies.
Although
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the latter opinion is true in many cases, I believe that graduating with a
university
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degree
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will allow
people
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to have successful lives. On the one hand, many
people
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argue and say that a
degree
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is not needed for someone to be successful, especially in today's world.
This
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belief could be true in many fields, where the reliance is
one
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on
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the person's skills rather than the knowledge that they could potentially acquire from studying in universities.
For instance
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, Many successful careers in the makeup industry started with a humble
begining
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beginning
of experimenting and a lot of errors and trials.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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believe that getting a
degree
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is the threshold for someone to reach in order to be successful. Not only will it provide valuable knowledge on the field of study chosen, but it
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also will
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will also
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offer a great opportunity for individuals to widen their horizons in almost every aspect, whether
of
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apply
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it
was
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is
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academic or not.
For example
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, when a student
enrolls
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enrols
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in a
university
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to study, they could
also
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seek chances in clubs' leadership, sports, and research. I agree with
this
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view because I think that a
degree
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is not just a piece of paper, but rather an opportunity to sculpt and shape the personalities of many
people
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. In conclusion, obtaining a
university
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degree
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could seem useless to many;
however
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, I believe it is essential to lead a successful life for the many chances it presents.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good, but try to be more specific about the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your argument. Sometimes, it feels like you have jumped from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to guide the reader better. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your ideas, especially in the second body paragraph. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear and well stated in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided an interesting example from the makeup industry to support your argument against needing a degree, showing original thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • benchmark
  • evolving landscape
  • credential
  • vocational training
  • entrepreneurship
  • digital literacy
  • autodidact
  • innovative approaches
  • skill set
  • networking
  • lifelong learning
  • meritocracy
  • practical experience
  • self-taught
  • upskilling
  • resilience
  • adaptive learning
  • critical thinking
  • soft skills
  • technological advancements
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