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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006

The graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2006
The bar chart provides information about the
number
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 of people who visited three museums — the Metropolitan
Museum
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 in New York, the Edo
Museum
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 in Tokyo, and the National
Museum
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 of China — between 2000 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the National
Museum
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 of China began with the lowest
number
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 of
visitors
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 but experienced steady growth and became the most visited
museum
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 by the end of the
period
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Edo
Museum
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 in Tokyo started with high attendance but showed a clear downward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the MET in New York saw a temporary decline followed by a recovery. At the beginning of the
period
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, the Metropolitan
Museum
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 in New York received the highest
number
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 of
visitors
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, reaching approximately 12
million
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 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure dropped significantly to around 6
million
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 in 2001 before gradually increasing to just over 14
million
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 by 2005.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the National
Museum
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 of China started with a relatively low
number
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 of
visitors
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, about 6
million
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, but experienced steady growth throughout the
period
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, eventually reaching the highest point of nearly 16
million
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 in 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Edo
Museum
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 in Tokyo attracted the largest
number
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 of
visitors
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 at the start of the
period
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, with around 14
million
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 in both 2000 and 2001. After that, the
number
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 declined sharply to nearly 6
million
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 in 2003.
Although
Linking Words
 there was a slight recovery in the following years, the
museum
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 still ended the
period
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 with fewer
visitors
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 than it began, finishing at about 10
million
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 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, museum, visitors, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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