IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think it is important for children to take lessons outside classroom for example by visiting places such local companies or public building .do you agree or disagree ?

There is an argument that it is essential
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 students should be taken
outsides
Fix the agreement mistake
outside
show examples
classrooms
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
helding
Correct your spelling
holding
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 it can have some
benefits
Punctuation problem
benefits,
show examples
 I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 taking
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 outside can make
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 process more enjoyable and
easire
Correct your spelling
easier
, it can lead to some
issuse
Correct your spelling
issues
. Indeed, the fact is that despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the new environment can boost
puipls
Check wording
people's
show examples
 motivation and energies, it can
also
Linking Words
 be
distractive
Replace the word
distracting
show examples
 too.
According to
Linking Words
 a study conducted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Harvard University
concentaration
Correct your spelling
concentration
 of about 60% of students in the new environments declines by 80%. By growing
Correct your spelling
technology
technolgy
Punctuation problem
technolgy,
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
classrooms
Use synonyms
 are
equipted
Correct your spelling
equipped
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special
equimnets
Correct your spelling
equipment
 which can not be
accessible
Replace the word
accessed
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
place
Correct subject-verb agreement
places
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays chemistry is
teaching
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advanced laboratory. It should be noted that in some subjects
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as history taking class at
musuem
Correct your spelling
museums
 or
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 can be useful and strongly
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
recomonded
Correct your spelling
recommended
. In conclusion,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
 holding
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside of
classrooms
Use synonyms
 can offer some benefits, I
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
Linking Words
 method. Difficulty
n
Correct your spelling
in
 concentration and the needed
eqiupment
Correct your spelling
equipment
classrooms
Use synonyms
 are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for my view.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simple linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes (e.g., 'buliding' should be 'building').
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For example, give a specific public building that would be beneficial for learning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide some good reasons for your opinion, reflecting critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: