Some say that the best way to improve public health is by Increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this will have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The issue of public well-being has become a topic of heated debate. Many people hold the view that the availability of fitness centres will have a favourable effect on the
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
of the community.
However
Linking Words
, others assert that the problem is more profound than it appears, and these initiatives by themselves cannot resolve the core problem. On one hand, many argue that physical activity has the most substantial impact on human
health
Use synonyms
. Proponents claimed that many researches provide evidence that the sedentary lifestyle contributes to the decrease in the life expectancy of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many believe that
such
Linking Words
measures alone do not address the root causes. Opponents,
however
Linking Words
, adopt a comprehensive perspective on the issue.
Although
Linking Words
they are convinced of the significance of exercise, they believe that other approaches should be considered,
for instance
Linking Words
, emphasising the enhancement of healthcare accessibility and the quality of the consumed diet. From my perspective, I am convinced that both stances contain elements of validity. In my view, a balance between both positions is required.
Although
Linking Words
workout
Correct article usage
a workout
show examples
is crucial for fitness and
health
Use synonyms
, we should not neglect the fact that other aspects of daily lifestyle are just as important,
such
Linking Words
as a healthy diet, mental
health
Use synonyms
, healthcare services, and the level of awareness.
Thus
Linking Words
, society’s
health
Use synonyms
is a combined effort of both individuals and governments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly states its main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure clear transitions between ideas for better flow.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarized your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: