In today's world many own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

The no denying the fact that technology has changed human lives over time. It is a commonly held belief that may others argue that smartphones are dangerous.
Although
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,
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apply
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a proportion sees smart screens
benefits
Wrong verb form
as benefiting
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them more than hurting them. I totally agree that the advantages outweigh the barriers.
This
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essay will express my point of view on that question.
To begin
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with, people had been believing in the mobile's advantages since its construction.
Due to
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,
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the significant benefits of the schooling field,
in other words
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, people can search for any information they want for mathematics or even biology, which would make the learning experience fun and essay.
For example
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, international schools use technology programs to enhance the education process. Another point to consider,
also
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it has advantages in
the
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health care
Use the right word
healthcare
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, they
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. They
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had a hard time searching for food or essential vitamins , so they had to go to the library, but compared to nowadays, they do not have to go
,
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;
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only great online you can open your mind to a lot of knowledge.
For instance
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, a recent study has shown that the library visitors worldwide
rate
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has declined over time since the mobile gadget became famous. In conclusion, no easy answer to
this
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topic. On balance , use of smart screens , of course.
However
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, I believe smart mobiles are beneficial for human beings despite the least disadvantages. For
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
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, the usage proportion under the age
18
Change preposition
of 18
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, their parents must monitor them and see what they are watching.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. Try to state your opinion more directly at the beginning of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas better. Use more transition words to help the reader follow your thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand. Try to make them shorter and clearer to improve readability.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your ideas, which is great!
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that is expressed throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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