IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
governments
Use synonyms
 should
cost
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
roads
Change preposition
on roads
show examples
.In my opinion, that's right,but do not ignore roadways more.The use of
roads
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 different from
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
, and
railways
Use synonyms
 and
roads
Use synonyms
 can complement each other. For developing countries,built
railways
Use synonyms
 bring workers
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
,and
Check wording
area,and
show examples
 they add additional income.After the
Use synonyms
railways
Fix the agreement mistake
railway
show examples
 operation,it brings more visitors and money for
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
.Undeniably,the
railways
Use synonyms
 are the most cost-effective in so much public transportation.
Thus
Linking Words
,many
people
Use synonyms
 would like to choose
train
Correct article usage
a train
show examples
 for travel. And local
governments
Use synonyms
 should develop more projects for travel,so
convenience
Check wording
apply
show examples
that stimulates more tourist consumption.For traveling countries,there are many trains for
people
Use synonyms
 who
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy the scenery during
journey
Correct pronoun usage
their journey
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,the
railways
Use synonyms
 between Russia and China built in
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 will see the different scenery
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries when the trains
passing
Wrong verb form
pass
show examples
 by.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many advantages of
railways
Use synonyms
,it is
also
Linking Words
built
Verb problem
apply
show examples
difficult
and
Verb problem
to build and
show examples
needs
Verb problem
takes
show examples
 a long time.But
roads
Use synonyms
 are built
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
 and faster,compared with
railways
Use synonyms
. The advantage of
roads
Use synonyms
 was short-distance transportation.
For example
Linking Words
,if local
people
Use synonyms
 need to transport some chemical liquid for industry in a
neighboring
Use the right word
neighbouring
show examples
 city,the
roads
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the best
chosen
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 to maintain their safety.
Besides
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 should think
further
Linking Words
 about all kinds of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
local
Correct pronoun usage
their local
show examples
.
Check wording
area.
show examples
In Germany,almost every person has an average of two cars, and they can drive faster than
train
Correct article usage
a train
show examples
 without limited speed on their
roads
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 because the
roads
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
 developed than
railways
Use synonyms
 in Germany. All in all,
although
Linking Words
 the
railways
Use synonyms
 have more advantages than
roads
Use synonyms
,
governments
Use synonyms
 should consider the actual local situation and decide if they should spend more money on
railways
Use synonyms
 or not,later.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and outlining the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points better, making them more relevant to the argument.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both railways and roads, which is positive.
task achievement
You mention specific examples, like the train between Russia and China, which adds interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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