IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. Agree or disagree?

Some argue that voluntary work should be added to the high school curriculum as a mandatory service. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposal, since it would enhance students' skills in their personal and professional
lives
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that these programmes must be strategically designed to prevent wasting students' time. There are various reasons that powerfully indicate
this
Linking Words
 approach is efficient.
To begin
Linking Words
, these activities offer unique opportunities, which contribute to young people shaping their personalities and recognising their civic responsibilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, engaging in these programs promotes their skills, including critical thinking, leadership, communication, and teamwork, all of which contribute to development not only in their future
lives
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 in society. As an example, research shows that people who have participated in social activities demonstrated valuable traits, which have helped them make progress and achieve high positions in their careers.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 proposal empowers participants in various aspects of their
lives
Use synonyms
, enabling them to become more successful.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some challenges that reduce the effectiveness of the proposal.
To begin
Linking Words
, high school is a golden period for students, when they determine their life paths. If there are no efficient plans, it could cause mental issues
such
Linking Words
 as stress, since they waste their study time.
For instance
Linking Words
, Basij in Iran is a voluntary organisation dedicated to resolving social challenges.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 its poor management, parents do not tend to allow their children to participate in its activities.
Thus
Linking Words
, meticulous planning plays a crucial role in the program's efficiency.
To sum up
Linking Words
, from my vantage point,
although
Linking Words
 there exist some problems that can be resolved, the proposal transcends barriers of failure and success in individuals' personal and professional
lives
Use synonyms
 and lays a strong foundation for them to develop their society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and support that idea with examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly with linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that all your arguments are related to the topic and fully answer the question.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the topic well with relevant points.
task achievement
The use of examples to support your points strengthens your argument and makes it relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: