You would like a job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: describe your personality say what relevant experience and skills you have explain what sort of work you would like to do.

#job #summer #camp #sports #activities #children #people #organisers #personality #skills #sort #work

Dear Sir , I am writing

this

letter regarding a job that was published by your organization in the local newspaper . Yesterday , I came to know about

this

vacancy which really captivates me because I like outdoor physical activities. My name is Jai Verma and I am working as a physiotherapist in the clinic. I handle several patients in one day which gives me a sense of responsibility and authenticity. I am 6 feet tall , a serene and generous person and I have lots of patience to tackle difficult situations .

Moreover

, I live at the Hespeler Village where you have decided to organize the summer camp

hence

, it will be easier for me to commute. I can help all the candidates to avoid muscle strain or sprain and if they have any injury I can diagnose them and will provide accurate treatment for the quick recovery. Other than that , good communication skills , teamwork and leadership qualities will help me to arrange all things appropriately. I hope you will allow me to be a part of

this

camp and I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours faithfully, Jai

Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your task response, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Your letter does a good job explaining your skills and what sort of work you'd like, but more details on your personality relating to how it specifically makes you suited for this job would enhance your response.

Task Achievement

Consider adopting a more formal tone to better suit the context of a job application letter. Phrases like 'captivates me' and 'I can diagnose them' could be made more formal or professional to better align with the expected writing tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your letter has a logical structure and presents ideas in a coherent manner. To further improve coherence and cohesion, make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs are well-organized around a single theme.

Coherence & Cohesion

Pay attention to the greeting and closing of your letter. While 'Dear Sir,' is typically appropriate, considering today's diverse and inclusive environment, 'Dear Hiring Manager,' might be a safer choice. Ensure the closing aligns with the overall tone of your letter. 'Yours faithfully,' is correctly used when the recipient is not named.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

196 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

according to some recent research rates for committing crime after a criminal's release are concerning at such high numbers, although unspecified.

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good while others think there disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.