IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that your personality doesn't change over time. To what extent do you agree with this idea? Give specific examples to support your opinion.""

The question of whether
personality
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 remains fixed or evolves over
time
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 has long been a subject of psychological debate.
While
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 some people believe that an individual’s character is unchanged over
time
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, I think that
personality
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 can
change
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 to some extent depending on
life
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 experiences and personal growth. On the one hand, it is understandable why some believe
personality
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 does not
change
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. Some characteristics ,
such
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 as being introverted or extroverted, seem to remain relatively stable from childhood into adulthood. An extroverted person often stays the stay throughout
life
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.
For example
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, someone who enjoys talking and socialising from a young age may choose careers like teaching or hosting and
remains
Correct subject-verb agreement
remain
show examples
 outgoing even in later years.
This
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 shows that basic
personality
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 traits rarely
change
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 over
time
Use synonyms
 Use synonyms agedatedayerafuturegenerationhourlifemomentmonth It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you want to do the opposite for a high band score. .
On the other hand
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, there is much evidence
suggests
Correct pronoun usage
that suggests
show examples
 that
personality
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 can
change
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 depending on
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
life
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experiencelife
Correct your spelling
experience
, environment or personal efforts.
For instance
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, Bill Gates , who was once known as a shy and introverted person, but over
time
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he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 a strong leader and an excellent public and practice, improving his social skills and transforming his
personality
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.
This
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 shows that efforts and determination can lead to significant personal growth. In conclusion,
although
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 some basic
personality
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 traits can remain intact, many other aspects can
change
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 over
time
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.
Therefore
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
personality
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 is formed
due to
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 both natural trends and
life
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 experiences.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are more clearly linked. Use transition words to connect your thoughts.
task response
Try to provide more specific examples or details to support your main points.
task response
Ensure your conclusion clearly summarizes your main arguments and reflects your opinion.
task response
You presented a clear opinion on the topic.
task response
You provided a good example of Bill Gates to illustrate personal growth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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