IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

‘Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people’s lives and should استلم المزيد التمويل.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Recently, the companies spent whole their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 related to the national
news
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 local
news
Use synonyms
talk
Correct subject-verb agreement
talks
show examples
 about
people
Use synonyms
's lives more than anything else. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 want to know what happened with the world
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reading international
news
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
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 many
people
Use synonyms
 do not care.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, some
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 read international
news
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they want to know what
happened
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
 in the world
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 What are the important changes?.
For example
Linking Words
, if something happens in the environment
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as Earthquakes or pollution.
According to
Linking Words
 several
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
and
Check wording
studies and
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 social studies in the
last
Linking Words
 few years in the Middle East
results
Punctuation problem
, results
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 have shown that the
vest
Use the right word
vast
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 majority of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 prefer
read
Verb problem
to read
show examples
 international
news
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Moving to another essential point,
people
Use synonyms
 who like
read
Verb problem
to read
show examples
 local
news
Use synonyms
 related to
people
Use synonyms
's lives, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
losing
Verb problem
are losing
show examples
 their time and money
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 reading
news
Use synonyms
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
 already have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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everywhere
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media. To illustrate arguments, an obvious example is the case of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 .
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
show examples
 it is conclusively clear that
the read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 related to
people
Use synonyms
's lives waste of time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I totally believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reading international
news
Use synonyms
receive
Verb problem
provides
show examples
 more
finding
Check wording
information
show examples
, because it is more important
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life , and
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 what
happened
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
with
Change preposition
around
show examples
 us . Seen in
this
Linking Words
 light , it is a good piece of advice that I recommend
to read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 more about international
news
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the linking between your ideas to make the essay flow better, such as using 'moreover' or 'however'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each point you make. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You provide a clear opinion in your essay, which is important for your argument.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss both local and international news, showing awareness of the topic's complexity.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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