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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to Ashdown Museum in the year before and the year after its
refurbishment
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts display the result of
visitor
Correct article usage
a visitor
show examples
 satisfaction survey conducted during the same two years, with responses divided into five categories
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied, and no response.
Overall
Linking Words
, both the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 and their satisfaction increased following the
refurbishment
Use synonyms
. In the year before the
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, 74,000 people visited the museum. Among them, the largest proportion (40%) were dissatisfied,
while
Linking Words
 30% reported being satisfied. Only 15% were very satisfied, and 10% were very satisfied. The remaining 5% did not respond to the survey. After the
refurbishment
Use synonyms
, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 rose to 92,000. The percentage of satisfied and very satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased notably to 40% and 35%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of dissatisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 dropped sharply to 15%, and those who were very dissatisfied decreased to just 5%. The percentage of people who did not respond remained unchanged at 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, refurbishment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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