IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others say that having a friendly relation is better. What do you think?

A
teacher
Use synonyms
 is an important person in everyone's
life
Use synonyms
, who can give direction
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. It is often argued that
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 educator is strict
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
 it is good for them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that there should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good behaviour between them. I think that having a friendly
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between them is good for both, I am going to
elobrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 an essay to support my views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if
students
Use synonyms
 have a friendly
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 with
Correct pronoun usage
their master
show examples
master
Punctuation problem
master,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it will
better
Verb problem
be better
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 mental health
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
explaination
Correct your spelling
Explanation
 because of that they can easily share their thoughts and ideas about certain things
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
governess
Check wording
teacher
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
teaches
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
accouring
Correct your spelling
according
 to their mind levels
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they can easily learn without having
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who
afraid
Verb problem
are afraid
show examples
 form their
teacher
Use synonyms
 can not learn in the class and their parents hire a different
teacher
Use synonyms
 for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 can make a good decision in their
life
Use synonyms
 if they have a good friend
teacher
Use synonyms
, beacuse some times
students
Use synonyms
 not only get problems in their acdemics but
also
Linking Words
 in their real
life
Use synonyms
, so some kind of problem they can share with their parents but some not ,so if they have a good friend
teacher
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they will able to get good advice ,
for example
Linking Words
 in a chandigarh there was a student struggling form mental health about outside the school and he was not able to explain his problem to his parents
then
Linking Words
 his
teacher
Use synonyms
 raman was good and gave him advice to overcome the mental stress.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there is no point
is
Use the right word
in
show examples
 having a good
realtion
Correct your spelling
relationship
 with
Use synonyms
teacher
Correct article usage
a teacher
show examples
 is more productive
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 at the same time
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
, students
show examples
do
Verb problem
should
show examples
 not forget to respect their
Use synonyms
teacher
Punctuation problem
teacher,
show examples
 not only in the
class
Use the right word
classroom
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
out side
Use the right word
outside
show examples
 the
class room
Use the right word
classroom
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion about which type of relationship is better. Try to use simpler language and structure.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas in a more logical way. For example, use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to structure your points better.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are clear and directly support your points. For instance, explain more about the student from Chandigarh and how the teacher helped him.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve your conclusion by restating your main point and summing up your argument more clearly.
task achievement
You have made a clear statement about preferring friendly relations between students and teachers, which is a good starting point.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your arguments, which is important for developing your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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