IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

*IELTS Training By Simiyu Paul_ People no longer use newspapers and television because The Internet plays the same role as them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a huge number of
people
Use synonyms
 do not use newspapers and television anymore ,because the internet
doing
Verb problem
is doing
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the same job as them.Personally, I agree with their opinion ,because it is much easier and you can choose what
type
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of
Change preposition
apply
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of
news
Use synonyms
 you want to attend.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
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people
Use synonyms
 go the the phone
news
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 , because it
easy
Verb problem
is easy
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 to access ,and it is very interesting to read
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and watch.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the television
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not provide many
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type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
channels
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 to share the
news
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to see the economic
news
Use synonyms
 because they are not interested in it.They want to see the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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news
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 because they are athletes, but on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television
Add a comma
television,
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 you can not choose the
type
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 of
news
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
in
Change preposition
on
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 the internet you
able
Verb problem
are able
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 to watch any
type
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 of
news
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, you can watch music
first
Punctuation problem
first,
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then
Linking Words
 sports ,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 that
video
Punctuation problem
, video
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 games .
As a result
Linking Words
, you have access to a lot of
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
news
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
thirdly
Fix capitalization
Thirdly
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, many of the
channels
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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TV are
bias
Replace the word
biased
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 for countries and not ethical ,because they are supported by those countries.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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CNN are one of
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 biased
channels
Use synonyms
 to the USA , because they are supported by the government of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 would rather watch
an
Correct article usage
apply
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ethical and
not
Rephrase
apply
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biased
Use the right word
unbiased
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channels
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 ,but they do not find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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TV.So they will find it on smartphones. In conclusion, I believe that
attending
Verb problem
following
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Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 is much easier .For those
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
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 I use
laptop
Correct article usage
a laptop
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 to read the
news
Use synonyms
.

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grammar
Make sure to use proper grammar and sentence structure.
structure
Organize your paragraphs better; each should have a clear main idea.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your ideas.
opinion
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic.
supporting ideas
You included reasons to support your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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