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Writing Samples
Band 7

People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society.

In the modern world, it is undeniable that
drug
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use
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 exists in many societies, but there is growing concern that young people are experimenting with both legal and illegal substances at increasingly early ages. Some sociologists argue that parents and society may contribute to
this
Linking Words
 behaviour through negative examples. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the causes and effects of widespread
drug
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use
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 among youth. One of the most apparent causes of
this
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 problem is the influence of family, peers, and social environments. To illustrate, when young people observe adults using substances
such
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 as alcohol, cigarettes, or other drugs, they may view
this
Linking Words
 behaviour as normal or acceptable.
For instance
Linking Words
, if parents smoke or misuse substances, children may be more likely to imitate these habits.
In addition
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, peer pressure and the desire to fit in with friends can encourage experimentation, especially during adolescence when individuals are developing their identities. Media portrayals of
drug
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use
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 may
also
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 reduce the perceived risks, making experimentation appear fashionable or harmless. The main effect that should not be overlooked is the serious impact on young people’s health, education, and future opportunities. To clarify, early
drug
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use
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 can damage physical and mental health, reduce academic performance, and increase the likelihood of long-term addiction.
For example
Linking Words
, students who develop substance habits may struggle to concentrate in school, face behavioural problems, or become involved in crime.
This
Linking Words
 not only harms individuals but
also
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 places pressure on healthcare systems and social services, affecting society as a whole. To recapitulate, it is evident that youth
drug
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use
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 is often caused by negative social influences, peer pressure, and media exposure,
while
Linking Words
 its effects include health problems, educational decline, and wider social costs.
Therefore
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, it is necessary that families, schools, and communities work together to provide better guidance and support in order to reduce
drug
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use
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 among young people.

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improvement
Add more real life examples or facts to back ideas.
improvement
Make the main idea clear in the opening and show how causes lead to effects.
similar
organization
Clear layout with an intro, body, and conclusion.
cohesion
Good links between ideas such as 'for example' and 'in addition'.
content
The focus stays on causes and effects.
content
Some good example ideas such as family and peers are used.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • experimenting with drugs
  • legal and illegal substances
  • increasing availability
  • relaxed regulations
  • glamorizes drug use
  • popular culture
  • peer pressure
  • parental guidance
  • lack of supervision
  • familial history of substance abuse
  • mental health issues
  • academic performance
  • criminal activities
  • fund their habits
  • entrenching in the criminal world
  • strain relationships
  • breakdowns in communication
  • cycle of abuse and neglect
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