IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think governments should spend money on measures to save languages with few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a heated debate whether the
government
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 should spend money on minority
languages
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. Some argue that governments should save
languages
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 with few speakers from dying out completely,
while
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 others think
this
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 is a waste of financial resources. I agree that
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should spend money to save those
languages
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. Language serves as a symbol of culture, which plays an important role in cultural diversity. Each language expresses a unique point of view
to
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on
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 the world. The disappearance of
languages
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 means the lifestyles of local
people
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 would change and their cultures would be supplanted..
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Also
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Also,
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 various
languages
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 can enable
people
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 to become more creative and improve cultural communication.
People
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 can learn more
culture
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about culture
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 from other places, broaden their horizons. If the
government
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 invests in minority
languages
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, it can help to maintain
this
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 knowledge and these customs.
In addition
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, only in
this
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 way can the
government
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 foster social cohesion, because everyone would show respect for linguistic diversity. Others argue that financial resources should not be spent on saving
languages
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,
it
Correct word choice
as it
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 would lead to less progress in societies. Those
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 which used by few
people
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 are backward may not
fashion
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be fashionable
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 enough nowadays. So that the fund should
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
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 on the
languages
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 which a large number of individuals
are used
Wrong verb form
use
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.
People
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 think the
government
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 should spend more money on more aspects that can
attain
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bring
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return
Correct article usage
a return
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,
such
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 as investment in education. Through these aspects
can enhance
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,
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 the quality of personal living.
Overall
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,
although
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 some
languages
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 that
people
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 seldom use are outdated, the issue of protecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cultural diversity is much more important. The protection of
languages
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 can form a harmonious society and maintain different cultures.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain your main ideas and make them easy to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make a clearer link between your ideas, so your essay flows better.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction, which makes your position clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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