IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?BBB

There is a view that saving
money
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 for the
future
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 is important for everyone, including the youth.
While
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 some say that it is not important for everyone as they should
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their earnings
for
Change preposition
on
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 their needs,
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however
Rephrase
apply
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I believe that it is really essential, as saving
money
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 can give them many possibilities in the
future
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.
While
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 saving
money
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 is widely considered a wise financial habit, it can limit
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 growth of youngsters, place unrealistic pressure on limited income, and ignore the greater value of
real world
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real-world
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experiences
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. Young people should
prioritize
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prioritise
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 gaining life
experiences
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 rather
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then
Use the right word
than
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 saving
money
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.
For example
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, spending funds on travel,
hobies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
, or social events can teach practical life skills, improve social connections, and
buld
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build
 confidence skills that can be more valuable than
money
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 in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 term.
Experiences
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 help young generations grow
enotionally
Correct your spelling
emotionally
 and mentally, which is difficult to achieve by simply hoarding finances.
Therefore
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, the value of
experiences
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 often outweighs the benefits of early financial saving. Being economical can open the doors
of
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to
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 many possibilities in the
future
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.
While
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 adults are often more aware of the importance of financial planning, it is equally vital for young people to understand and practice saving. In the
future
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, they can create or run
business
Correct article usage
a business
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 by keeping the budget.
For instance
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, as a
child
Punctuation problem
child,
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 if they
econom
Correct your spelling
economise
 their budgets, they can open a business in the
future
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 and increase their incomes even more,
also
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 they can
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
this
Linking Words
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their needs.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 their
future
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 will be more productive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 when they grow
up
Punctuation problem
up,
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theyb
Correct your spelling
they
know
Verb problem
will know
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 how to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
money
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 properly. In conclusion, saving
money
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 is not just an adult responsibility
it
Punctuation problem
; it
show examples
 is an essential practice that youngsters should adopt early in life. Saving provides numerous
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 that shape a more secure and fulfilling
future
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents both sides, but it could be clearer about your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with strong examples.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to fix spelling and grammar mistakes, which can distract the reader.
task achievement
You show a good understanding of the topic and present your views clearly.
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