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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that separating males and females
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different
schools
Use synonyms
 is better.
However
Linking Words
, others believe the counterparts
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 separating
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
 will increase their desire to
study
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not separating them
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 their communication
skill
Use synonyms
. Splitting
both
Use synonyms
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 different
schools
Use synonyms
 will increase their desire to learn about
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
show examples
 that are offered in
schools
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are not able to meet
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opposite
Use synonyms
gender
Punctuation problem
gender,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may lead them to
flirting
Wrong verb form
flirt
show examples
 with them, which may shift their focus to
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 only about their partners.
For example
Linking Words
, many high school
students
Use synonyms
 in the U.S. only focus on flirting with their partners because they do not separate them to different
schools
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I believe that separating
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
 will increase their desire to
study
Use synonyms
. Others believe that putting them together in one institution will benefit their
Use synonyms
skill
Check wording
ability
show examples
 to communicate. Most
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
 especially
boys
Punctuation problem
boys,
show examples
 are scared to communicate with the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
 because they are
anti-social
Use the right word
antisocial
show examples
. By mixing
both
Use synonyms
 individual
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one place, he or she are able to discuss topics
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
 regarding a certain topic, which may improve their
skill
Use synonyms
 to communicate with them.
For example
Linking Words
, most high school
students
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 attend
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 that do not separate
Use synonyms
both
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 are very intelligent in speaking with everyone.
Thus
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 still believe that
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can improve their
skill
Use synonyms
 to speak, it may
also
Linking Words
 lead
students
Use synonyms
 to ignore their main purpose, which is to
study
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe separating
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
 into different
schools
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 great for them, because it can help them to focus more.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 mixing
both
Use synonyms
genders
Use synonyms
 into one schooling may improve their
skill
Use synonyms
 to discuss a certain topic with the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
, it may direct them to ignore their purpose to
study
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow by using linking words like 'however' or 'on the other hand'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
content
You presented both sides of the argument clearly.
content
The conclusion summarized your opinion well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
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