IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the places in which UK people gained access to the Internet from 1998 to 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the rowin features, and make comparisons where relevant. Gia Linh

The chart below shows the places in which UK people gained access to the Internet from 1998 to 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the rowin features, and make comparisons where relevant. Gia Linh
The bar chart provides data regarding the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
the British
Check wording
Britons
show examples
 accessing the
Internet
Use synonyms
 in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 most common places between 1998 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 was by far the most popular place throughout the period,
whereas
Linking Words
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 was the least popular one. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that the popularity of using the
internet
Use synonyms
 at work dropped by the end of the duration,
while
Linking Words
 for the three others, the proportion fluctuated. Focusing first on the most and least common places where the citizens accessed the
internet
Use synonyms
, in 1998, approximately 55% did
this
Linking Words
 at home,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
, the proportion was only slightly over 10%.
However
Linking Words
, by
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of home users hit a low of nearly 48%, rising gradually to its initial level
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end of the period. As for
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
, by 2000, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
internet
Use synonyms
 users in
this
Linking Words
 place increased significantly to slightly under
one-fifths
Use the right word
one-fifth
show examples
, decreasing marginally by 2004, by roughly 2%. As for the places with the middle popularity, between 1998 and 2000, approximately 28% of people used the
einternet
Correct your spelling
internet
 at their workplaces,
whereas
Linking Words
one-fifths
Use the right word
one-fifth
show examples
 of them did
this
Linking Words
 in colleges.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of those in colleges increased significantly by 2002, reaching almost the same level as users at work, nearly 27%, which dropped dramatically to the end of the period, to approximately 18%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, internet with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: