IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

‏Some people think that competition at work,at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more,rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Many individuals state that
competition
Use synonyms
 at work, at school and in routine is satisfactory. Many accept that all should do to cooperate more, other than competing with themself. I consider it a positive trend, and points will be
disussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the constructive development,
competition
Use synonyms
ehnace
Correct your spelling
enhances
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self confidence
Use the right word
self-confidence
show examples
 and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in
tackle with
Wrong verb form
tackling
show examples
 the problems. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 indulging himself/herself in battling make
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 to understand
to
Rephrase
how to
show examples
deals
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with the problem in
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
 and better manner . To cite an example, an article
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
published in the famous newspaper The Hindustan
Time
Fix the agreement mistake
Times
show examples
 in 2020
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 shows that
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who have competing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 have more accuracy in dealing
tough
Change preposition
with tough
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 than others.
Hence
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in solving the difficulties .
Futhuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
competition
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 in boosting
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
memory power.
In other words
Linking Words
, completely
making
Verb problem
focusing
show examples
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 focusing in one
stuff
Check wording
thing
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to increase the short and
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
memormies mor
Correct your spelling
memories more
clear
Replace the word
clearly
show examples
 and
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 2009 WHO (World Health Organisation)
conduct
Wrong verb form
conducted
show examples
 a
suvery
Correct your spelling
survey
 which show feuding person have
sharpen
Replace the word
sharper
show examples
knowledege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. The evidence
prove
Correct subject-verb agreement
proves
show examples
 that, championship
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more positive impact on
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Check wording
person's
show examples
 mind. In conclusion, at school, at work and in regular activities
Use synonyms
competition
Punctuation problem
, competition
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 effect. Not only
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in problem solving, but
also
Linking Words
 to
bulid
Correct your spelling
build
 a stronger mind.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer. Make sure to state both views clearly and present your opinion more firmly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas in a more logical order. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple transitions like 'first', 'second', and 'finally' to help the reader follow your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes to improve clarity, especially in key terms.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is important in argumentative essays.
task achievement
You included examples to support your points, which helps strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, showing the overall idea of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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