Today, more and more tourists re visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

These days, many tourists are visiting
to
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apply
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historical
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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rather than local
people
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.
This
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essay will explain the reason
of
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for
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this
Linking Words
case and offer proper solutions to mitigate
this
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issue.     The main reason
of
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for
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this
Linking Words
problem is that citizens are familiar with the exhibitions which are presented in historical
places
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. It is known that individuals have been seeing these exhibitions since their childhood and they do not want to see
same
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the same
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things again.
Besides
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,
people
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have to pay money to enter
museums
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for
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to
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see
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
things again. For that reason, inhabitants prefer to spend their money
to visit
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on visiting
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other entertaining
places
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instead
Linking Words
of
museums
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.
Due to
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these
occasions
Add a comma
occasions,
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historical
sides
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sites
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are visited by more tourists than local
people
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.       There are a number of measures that can allocate
this
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. One of
Linking Words
this
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these
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is to create a new environment for young visitors.
Government
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The government
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should create a modern device to produce
virtual
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a virtual
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exhibition which can be interesting for
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. After creating
new
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a new
show examples
atmosphere, inhabitants may
interested
Verb problem
be interested
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in historical things and start to go
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museums
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to museums
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for
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to
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see exhibitions.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, if
government
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the government
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create some discounts on holidays for all visitors, the number of local
people
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who want to
go
Verb problem
visit
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
will increase significantly. In conclusion, creating
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
atmosphere and
some
Verb problem
offering some
show examples
discounts
for
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to
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all individuals can be good solutions to mitigate
this
Linking Words
problem. After these
alternations
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alterations
show examples
, inhabitants may pay more attention
for
Change preposition
to
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historical
places
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of other
places
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make sure to clearly introduce the main ideas in your introduction. You should state the problem and the solutions more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'finally' to help the flow of your essay.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, what kind of discounts would attract local people?
task response
You clearly identified a problem in your essay, which is good for guiding your readers.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well, making it clear what you believe are the solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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