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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average hose prices in three countries between the years 1997 and 2014. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the average hose prices in three countries between the years 1997 and 2014. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 graph gives information about
average
Correct article usage
the average
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 house cost in
three
Use synonyms
 different nations from 1997 to 2014
Check wording
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be clearly seen that in all
three
Use synonyms
 given
Correct your spelling
countries
counries
Punctuation problem
counries,
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 have slumped
plummeted
Wrong verb form
or plummeting has occurred
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 once.In
Country
Use synonyms
 A price of
house
Correct article usage
a house
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 in 2003
was
Verb problem
apply
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jumped to about 550,000
dollars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 other
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
this
Linking Words
 sum
was
Verb problem
apply
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decreased,but
also
Linking Words
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 after.As
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
an overall
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 trend after
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 fall in cost,houses
amount
Check wording
apply
show examples
in all
three
Use synonyms
 countries was significantly
rised
Correct your spelling
increased
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 the
years
Use synonyms
 1998-
1999
Add a comma
1999,
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country
Use synonyms
 B
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 expensive homestead volume
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 A
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 after
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
country
Use synonyms
A
Check wording
A's
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 home volume
was
Verb problem
increased
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 steeply
increased
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.As a general trend,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 the highest point of house
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 was in 2014. Another noteworthy
further
Linking Words
 that
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 C homestead cost
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually
climbed
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 from approximately 120,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 to just below 250,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
years
Use synonyms
 1997-2007,but in 2008
this
Linking Words
 value
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined
sligthly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 to about 150,000
dollars
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
show examples
 after
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 in 2009-2013
years
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 value
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
steadily
jumped
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 from 250,000 to much more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 250,000
dollars
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, years, country, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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