IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a bit of controversy when it comes to sense of belonging, as there is a common belief that those
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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 been educated as doctors and engineers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 should stay in
country
Correct article usage
the country
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they
Rephrase
where they
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 studied,
while
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 others, myself included, do not
favor
Use the right word
favour
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this
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, as I believe everyone
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 the right to choose their
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
 working environment. Both views have their own reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 idea that well-trained individuals should stay and work for the place, they
have been
Verb problem
apply
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graduated. To elaborate,
although
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 in most
of
Change preposition
apply
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state universities,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 provide
stduents
Correct your spelling
students
 with a great scholarship during their academic period,
instead
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, scholars are accountable for
give
Verb problem
providing
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 services
as well as
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they studied
Wrong verb form
studying
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 for free.
For instance
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, when a learner
awards
Verb problem
earns
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 a fully-funded position at their targeted university, like USA universities, they should represent their
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
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 mutually over time, thereby
being
Verb problem
demonstrating
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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commitment
seems
Verb problem
is
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 essential after finishing tertiary education.
However
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,
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 reasons sound acceptable
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 liberty can play a pivotal role in many aspects,
such
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 as the right
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
 working
place
Use the right word
workplace
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. In essence, most of
Correct article usage
the elits
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elits
Correct your spelling
elites
,
such
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 as doctors and
engineers
Punctuation problem
engineers,
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 are privileged to have a higher standard of living and a decent salary. One instance to exemplify
this
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 is those studying in top universities,
such
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 as top talented pupils
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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finished
Verb problem
have finished
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 their education period, should be given the chance to select their
desirable
Replace the word
desired
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 place to live and work,
thus
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 leading to
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
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 a lucrative job
with being worried
Wrong verb form
without worrying
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 about money.
To conclude
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,
although
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 both
view points
Use the right word
viewpoints
show examples
 have their reasonable concepts, I believe that if professionals had the opportunity to
flourish
Verb problem
develop
show examples
 their skills in their interesting working
ambience
Check wording
environment
show examples
, it would be useful for
their both
Correct word order
both their
show examples
 own country and where they have trained.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread for grammar and spelling mistakes. For example, 'have been educated' should be 'have been educated,' and 'give services' should be 'to give services.'
coherence
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to explain the main idea. For example, start each paragraph with a sentence that describes its main point.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Instead of saying 'top talented pupils,' give real-world examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
content
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which helps the reader understand your view from the start.
content
You have included both sides of the argument, which shows you understand the question well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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