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Writing Samples
Band 6

Teachers are not as important as they used to be because of the choice of other alternatives for students, such as online teaching. To what extent to do you agree of disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
education
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 is essential for personal and social development.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that teachers are still important in the learning process, others argue that modern alternatives,
such
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 as online
education
Use synonyms
, are more effective. From my point of view, I completely agree that online learning offers more advantages, especially in terms of saving
time
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 and reducing costs. One major benefit of online learning is that it is more affordable for
families
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. It helps reduce expenses related to transportation, uniforms, and even school tuition.
For example
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, a study showed that
families
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 who chose online
education
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 spent around \$30 per child,
while
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 those who sent their
children
Use synonyms
 to traditional schools spent up to \$100 per child.
This
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 makes e-learning a good option for low-income households.
In addition
Linking Words
, online
education
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 helps save
time
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 for both parents and students. Working parents do not need to drop off or pick up their
children
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 from school.
Children
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 can
also
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 study at their own pace and complete lessons faster. Many homeschooling
families
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 report that their
children
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 spend almost half the
time
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 studying compared to regular school hours, which gives them more
time
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 to rest or explore other interests. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 teachers are still valuable in many ways, I believe that online learning is a better and more flexible alternative. It reduces financial pressure on
families
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 and helps students manage their
time
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 more effectively.

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task achievement
Try to add a counterargument to show you understand the other side of the issue. This will make your essay stronger and more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas, like 'however' or 'moreover'. This will help your paragraphs flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument stronger.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological revolution
  • access to information
  • self-learning
  • personalized learning paths
  • learning styles
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • traditional classrooms
  • flexibility
  • online education
  • commitments
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • mentorship
  • support
  • blended learning
  • guiding
  • facilitating
  • enhancing
  • quality of education
  • inspire and motivate
  • holistic educational experience
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