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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, plastic bags are one the main sources of damage to the environment, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #plastic #bags #sources #damage #environment
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Currently, there has been much discussion revolving around
plastic
bags
 because of their detrimental impacts on the environment.
As a result
, they have to be forbidden by the authorities. I disagree with
this
, though.
This
 essay will delve into the details of the given topic,
in addition
 to my opinion that will be elucidated in
this
 essay,
along with
 some corporation examples in order to justify my point of view.
To begin
 with,
plastic
bags
 have not been categorised as the major source of environmental damage in many cities. To illustrate
this
,
this
 kind of material represents some sort of environmental damage in the coastal territories only. Owing to
this
,they should not be banned.
Moreover
, the fees for eco-friendly
bags
 are expensive. So, the public can not buy them. Obviously, because the number of poverty in some developed countries is very high. What is more, the harmful consequences of these items are not as high as other materials that are daily used like fossil fuels.
Therefore
, If the governments want to forbid something, they have to prohibit carbon dioxide materials.
This
 is because its toll on our atmosphere is on the majority.
For instance
, the number of individual's carbon footprints in my country (Egypt) is on the surge. The negative consequences of
this
 contribute to climate change and some chest diseases.
However
, the essential impacts of
plastic
bags
 are not as risky as fossil fuels. To justify
this
 issue, according
Add the preposition
to
show examples
the panel of experts assembled by scientists, they pointed out
plastic
bags
 don't jeopardize people's life. (Cohen. et al).
Hence
, these arguments collectively convince me that it is not justified to prohibit
plastic
bags
. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of the given topic ,it's predicted that despite the belief held by some that
plastic
 items have to be banned, I disagree with
this
 on account of the mentioned clarifications.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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task achievement
You should ensure that your essay has a clear opinion throughout. The introduction should clearly state your position, and the conclusion should reiterate it without ambiguity. The use of 'I disagree with this, though' is informal and should be rephrased to maintain academic tone.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each presenting a central idea. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow. Embedding clauses and the use of conjunctions should be used accurately to create complex sentences.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with the consistency of your arguments. While you have presented an opinion, some statements could be interpreted as contradictory. Ensure that each paragraph conveys a coherent point that aligns with your overall stance.
task achievement
Support your main points with relevant examples. The mention of Egypt's carbon footprint is a good start, but offering concrete statistics, studies, or reports would strengthen your argument. Avoid unspecific references like 'panel of experts assembled by scientists' without proper citation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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