IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals believe that
artifitial inteligent
Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been built to
control
Use synonyms
 our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other people think that
technology
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 good
consequance
Correct your spelling
consequences
 in all parts of our
life
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my perspective, it is obvious that we are
unde
Correct your spelling
under
 the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technological
 eye, but cutting-edge
technology
Use synonyms
 helps us
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
. We can access a
wild
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 range of
data
Use synonyms
 at the click of a button.
Cutting-adge
Correct your spelling
Cutting-edge
technology
Use synonyms
 can
control
Use synonyms
 all parts of our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It is true that we
use
Use synonyms
 them in different parts of our
life
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 washing machines and
smart phones
Use the right word
smartphones
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, which means that they do
every thing
Use the right word
everything
show examples
 for us.
Moreover
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,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 it is not
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
controlled
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control
Punctuation problem
control,
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 what we can call it.
For example
Linking Words
, when we
use
Use synonyms
 our smartphones to contact or
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
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 bills, they will save
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 personal
data
Use synonyms
 and they can
use
Use synonyms
 it whenever they want. To the best of my knowledge,
however
Linking Words
, it is harmful,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 cannot prevent it.
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 require it as same as oxygen these days. There are many benefits of using
technology
Use synonyms
. Finding information
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the best impact on our lives.
Data
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 is
avalilable
Correct your spelling
available
any where
Use the right word
anywhere
show examples
 we want. We can
use
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comprehensive
data
Use synonyms
 at a time, which is a big difference between now and the past.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 the past, we
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to go to a library to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data
Use synonyms
 about a topic that was as hard as solving math questions.
Furthermore
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,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
are
Verb problem
is are
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 many
Use synonyms
data
Change preposition
of data
show examples
 that we can consume without spending time to find real sources because
Use synonyms
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been
assembeled
Correct your spelling
assembled
 very well.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be hard that we know
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
Use synonyms
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
show examples
 our whole
life
Use synonyms
.
Inteligent
Correct your spelling
Intelligent
 machines contribute
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways. Information is in our pocket whenever we want to
use
Use synonyms
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can make
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 difference in every situation.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of the main ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear focus and stays on topic.
task achievement
Use correct verb forms and spellings. Check for typos and grammar mistakes.
task achievement
Add more specific examples for each main point to support your argument better.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument clearly, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives a good overview of the topic, setting the stage for the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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