In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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The
behavior
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behaviour
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of telling
children
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can achieve anything if they make sufficient efforts has brought both benefits and drawbacks.
Although
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it is able to make them more
motivate
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motivated
to
face
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study, it is important to
recognize
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recognise
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that
ignorinig
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ignoring
the situation in reality may
also
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emerge from
this
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action. Foremost,sharing the idea that hard works lead to success
to
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in
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children
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,
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cultivates their good study habits and strong
charecter
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character
.When young people believe that enough efforts bring
achievemrnt
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achievement
,they are far more resolute to
face
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setbacks查词 and challenges,
result
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resulting
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in them
are
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being
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patient with focusing on
loong-term
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long-term
goals.
Thus
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,they become better at learning.
For example
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,some students
that
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who
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struggle with math are told that plenty of
pratice
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practice
definitely will bring about higher marks,they are more likely to spend extra time
in
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apply
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studying,eventually mastering the subject.
Concequently
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Consequently
,it helps
children
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build excellent abilities to
face
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study and work in the future.
However
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, conveying the message that anything is available through
efforts
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effort
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also
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has significant disadvantages. Because it
including
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includes
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unrealistic expectations,ignoring other factors
such
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as
the
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apply
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talent,information,
oppotunity
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opportunity
,and luck.It triggers
the
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apply
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serious blame and anxiety among the students when they fail
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although
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, although
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they try their best.
For instance
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,a child who trains hard for a
sport
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sports
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competition but loses to someone much stronger and taller than him may think effort was meaningless.It
destroy
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destroys
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children
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's self-confidence,
then
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imapacting
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impacting
their mental health.
As a result
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,
this
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mindset may cause
children
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regarding
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to regard
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all
the failure
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failures
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as personal
problem
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problems
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,
instead
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of other crucial
reason
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reasons
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. In conclusion, despite the clear advantages of motivating
children
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,
it's
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its
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tendency to hurt
children
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cannot be overlooked. A perfect balance is required to ensure that
children
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has
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have
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the confidence to compete and know how to
face
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failure at the same time.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say exactly why this message is good and why it is bad.
task response
Make each main idea very clear at the start of the paragraph.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more. Some points are good, but not fully clear.
task response
Use examples in a simpler and clearer way.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and support it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with long sentences because they can break the flow of ideas.
task response
You answered both the advantage and the disadvantage.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The overall paragraph order is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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